Tuesday, September 8, 2009

When Insanity and Anxiety Finally Reach Its Boiling Point

I'm trying hard to convince myself that it was only my anxiety. The fact that it might be really happen is scares me a lot. Thinking about it also bothering me a lot. What should I do? How should I behave? And what should I say? Luna said that I have to talk it over with him so we could possibly find a good solution. But I'm too afraid to admit straightly to him that I feels something's wrong with him lately. I'm too afraid if he would make a tough decision for us. Well, until the moment I type this post, I still loves him, so much :"( I don't wanna lose him, for the second time.
I know, in the past I have done so many things that might be hurts him over and over, I don't even return his unconditional love for me, I'd just stick to another guy(s) instead. Such an ungrateful girl. Then I think now it's the right time to pay him back, even if maybe it won't wash away all the mistakes that I've done to him earlier, but at least I want to makes him happy by my way. I will always be by his side. No matter what.

And his boredom --or even his tough decision-- would be my best birthday present ever.


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