I'm trying hard to convince myself that it was only my anxiety. The fact that it might be really happen is scares me a lot. Thinking about it also bothering me a lot. What should I do? How should I behave? And what should I say? Luna said that I have to talk it over with him so we could possibly find a good solution. But I'm too afraid to admit straightly to him that I feels something's wrong with him lately. I'm too afraid if he would make a tough decision for us. Well, until the moment I type this post, I still loves him, so much :"( I don't wanna lose him, for the second time.
I know, in the past I have done so many things that might be hurts him over and over, I don't even return his unconditional love for me, I'd just stick to another guy(s) instead. Such an ungrateful girl. Then I think now it's the right time to pay him back, even if maybe it won't wash away all the mistakes that I've done to him earlier, but at least I want to makes him happy by my way. I will always be by his side. No matter what.
And his boredom --or even his tough decision-- would be my best birthday present ever.
SHIT, I NEED SOME ADVICE TO MAKES ME FEELS BETTER RIGHT NOW!